Club run reports - 16th August

Category 6 ride led by Daniel Horn (Report by Tony Dos Santos)

Now, Ware (boom boom) do I start?
We knew this ride may be a little wet as the forecast from the Met Office said it was going to tip down. As we were waiting, Graham Rogers turned up on his bike, looking like he had been in a war zone, blood everywhere, Graham’s saddle was torn and his knee didn’t look good either. However, being the brave little soldier he is, Graham advised he could ride. As usual Marcia turned up at 9:29am! 
We set off at 9:30am and Daniel confirmed where we were going, but didn’t know how to get to Fanhams, so we guided him that far, and all was good. Along the route, Leigh’s chain kept on slipping and coming off. Worse was to come!
Marcia decided to become somewhat unladylike on a video along the route. No, it’s not anything perverted you lot. For God’s sake take your mind out of the gutter  - sorry Graham, are you having flashbacks about gutters and crashing? 
As we were riding along, I noticed that every time our illustrious leader looked back over his right shoulder, he kept on veering right. As it was his first lead I didn’t say anything, although I did say to Marcia that he was going to crash if he kept on doing that. We kept on riding and Peter E said his goodbyes as he had things to do. 
Daniel showed us his house en route and all was well until we were about a mile from the cafe, then disaster struck. Daniel looked over his right shoulder, yes, you guessed it, he crashed. Not a very pretty sight and he wasn’t too bad, but upon inspection we noticed his right lever was smashed to smithereens. However, Daniel said he could go on, although his bike was stuck in eighth gear. We got to the cafe at about 11:30am, we waited and waited and waited and......
Eventually we put our orders in and then we waited and waited and.... you get the picture. 
At 12:45pm we had finished the food and Marcia decided to show us on video how hilly another ride was. Made us all laugh. 
On the way back, I kept on seeing fields of what looked like burnt crops. This was bugging me as there were green bits everywhere, so I stopped at looked and the brown plants had pods with “white peas”. I’m sure it’s an alien invasion! 
Riding along, Leigh’s gears were sounding clunkier and clunkier. We got to Barwick Ford (or is it fjord?), over the little bridge we went and “BANG”, Leigh’s bike gave up the ghost with a snapped gear cable. He looked up the hill and said he wouldn’t make it up there in 10th gear. In my infinite wisdom I said I’d get back to Allenburys and get the car and come and pick him up. We rode off, looking back at Leigh, who appeared dejected. 
Up the hill we went and yes, nothing more could go wrong, apart that is from the heavens opening and getting soaked. Then one more disaster; Daniel was sitting on the side of road, a broken man with cramps after riding in eighth gear for fifteen miles. We all told him to man up (total lie) and after five minutes the poor soldier, got back on his bike and shouted “let’s go”!
We got back after one of the longest Cat 6’s in history (42 miles, although Marcia advised me later it was 95 miles (total lie!)
So I jumped in my car, only thinking about Leigh being stuck under a tree somewhere in what I can only describe as a biblical downpour. As I started to drive off and something didn’t feel right....yes you guessed it, I’d left my bloody riding shoes on. I stopped the car and changed into my trainers. I went searching for Leigh, I got to the ford, but still no sign, I drove up the hill, got to the crossroads, looked right, kept looking behind and in front, but what I didn’t do was look left. Ooooops. So I drove for about another mile and then turned around. I went back to the crossroads and there he was, a drowned rat. He said he had been shouting and screaming on my first pass but I didn’t see him. Poor bloke was soaked. 
I dropped Leigh home and the saga was over. 4pm and shattered. 
All in all, a great first lead ride from Daniel, poor bloke, who didn’t know what he had let himself in for! 
If I’ve forgotten anything, apologies, as so much happened on this ride, although, not a single puncture!