Club run reports - 1st May

Category 6 ride led by Tony Dos Santos

Well, today was the day, I was to receive the cup, yes, “The Cup”. Rebecca was to receive “The Ladies Cup”. All in all, we are the winners of the most coveted trophy of all time! Yes, yes..the Kelleway Cup was firmly in my hands for April. I’m not blowing my own trumpet or anything, but I was the best this month! 
OK, that’s my own self adulation over.
Cat 6 were raring to go, except me and Rebecca, who had won the Kelleway Cup. Did I tell you I’d won! 
So it was 9:29 am and guess who just made it, yes, it was Davina! Pete the Tweak had to repair her bike and then we were off. We went up a few roads blah blah blah! 
We overtook the Cat 3s and 4s; they are getting slower and slower, nothing to do with them having a puncture! 
We got to Mill End and there were eight Bakewell tarts ready just for me, as they had been made aware I’d won the Kelleway Cup. Did I tell you I’d won it! 
It was nice to see Richard “Kev” Hann. After due discussions, he agreed he MUST get a Garmin Varia, post haste. This was agreed amongst the Varia support group. aka, Dos Santos, Moore, Kelleway C & Kelleway P. Then, shock horror, Rich (the Vid Kid) asked about my new image (Bec’s idea), which Carolyn approved of, which is the new Alé season of cycle wear (yes, I’m speaking utter trash). Did I mention I won the Kelleway Cup! 
I decided that I wanted a sausage baguette and the Bakewell. Yes, yes ok, I was being a bit of a pig, but I had just won the Kelleway Cup! Had I told you this? 
Rebecca was approached by her fan club and asked how she got over the Atlantic so quickly after her boxing match in Maddison Square Gardens! Obviously, I’d arranged a private jet back to the UK from the money I had made from my recent competition win, which I am too embarrassed to mention here! OK, OK, I’ll tell you, it was the Kelleway Cup! 
Off we went, avoiding the paparazzi which was now chasing Rebecca after her boxing match. Being a true gentleman that I am, I “shielded” Rebecca from the paparazzi with the Kelleway cup! 
Round the lanes we went and not a single ‘P’ was to be had. 
I have to mention Carolyn and her monstrous pedaling efforts today. She was burning rubber on the road. 
Such a great ride, Rich, aka Kev, aka Vid Kid, aka Covid Kid, Aka - "I’ve had Covid three times", had his first taste of Mill End's Bakewell tart and duly approved. 
Before my sign off, who actually won April's Kelleway Cup?
Until next time “keep pedaling Tony” and not (shock horror) written from the throne.

Love and kisses, Tony.

Category 4 ride led by Lisa Ridoutt

Having led all my previous rides to Mill End Plants, I reset my Garmin and scooped up 11 other riders for a run out to Poppy’s Barn, near Clavering.

This large cat 4 group were on fire and over the next few hours we were about to hit two cat 4 records……!

It was great to have our 'Captain of Cat 4’  Peter back out with us and so we set off at a lightening pace, only to stop 20 mins later as Enzo dealt with a puncture, at which point Cat 6 came flying past with lots of smiles and waves.

We arrived at Poppy’s at midday, at this point I would love to say we were fed and watered and soon on our way, but unfortunately this is where we picked up our first record, 'The Longest Cafe Stop Ever On A Cat 4 Club Run’. You would have thought that a 90 minute cafe stop would have meant we’d all ordered a three course meal, but the most complicated dish was probably poached eggs on toast. The only positive we can take from this was that we all knew each other a little bit better by the time we left, lots of time for chatting!

With the cafe stop really slowing us down it was now up to the ride leader to get everyone away as quickly as possible, unfortunately she completely failed at this. With the temperature appearing to have dropped everyone added another layer and Denis kindly lent me his jacket (Wheeler of the Week award for that). I managed to cause a wardrobe malfunction as I put it on and then had to climb out of it whilst the zip was repaired.

Now, with the need to get everyone back to Allenbury’s before it got dark, we continued on at our speedy pace and on our return we hit the second record of the day ‘Fastest Ride On A Cat 4’.

Note to self, stick with Mill End Plants and remember your jacket (I apologised profusely as I handed Denis back a sweaty jacket).

Thanks everyone for joining me on a 48 mile, 2500 ft, 14.3 mph run out!!